Divorce Checklist: Step-by-Step
From the moment you decide to separate through the day your divorce is finalized. Use this as your roadmap — not every step applies to every situation, but nothing critical is missing.
Phase 1: Before you file — the foundation
What you do before any paperwork is filed often determines how the rest of the process goes. These steps protect you legally and financially.
Gather financial documents. Bank statements (12 months), tax returns (3 years), retirement account statements, mortgage statements, credit card statements, pay stubs for both spouses. Make copies and store them somewhere your spouse cannot access.
Get clarity on your marital assets and debts. Make a complete list of everything owned and owed jointly or individually — real estate, vehicles, retirement accounts, investment accounts, business interests, and all debts.
Open an individual bank account in your name only. Before separation, make sure you have access to funds of your own. Do not drain joint accounts — courts look unfavorably on that — but ensure you have enough to cover immediate expenses.
Check your credit report. Know what accounts are in your name, jointly, or in your spouse's name. Identify any debt you were unaware of. Free report at annualcreditreport.com.
Consult with a family-law attorney. Even if you plan to file without one, a one-time consultation (typically $150 to $350) is worth it to understand your rights, state-specific rules, and what to expect. See our guide to finding the right attorney.
Secure important personal documents. Passport, birth certificate, Social Security card, medical records, and any prenuptial agreement. Store copies outside the marital home.
If children are involved, document the current custody arrangement. Write down who has been the primary caregiver, school pickup/drop-off patterns, and the children's current schedules. Courts often look at the status quo when making initial custody determinations.
Do not hide assets or move money out of joint accounts without your attorney's guidance. This is taken seriously by courts and can significantly damage your credibility and your case — including your custody case if children are involved.
Not sure where to start? An attorney can help.
A free initial consultation with a licensed family-law attorney in your state can clarify what your specific situation requires — and how to protect yourself from the beginning.
Phase 2: Filing for divorce
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1
Confirm your state's residency requirement
Most states require one or both spouses to have lived in the state for 6 to 12 months before filing. A few states require as little as 90 days. Confirm this before filing anywhere.
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2
Complete the divorce petition
This is the initial filing that formally starts the divorce. It states the grounds for divorce (most states allow no-fault), identifies the parties and any children, and outlines what you are asking the court for.
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3
File with the appropriate court and pay the filing fee
File in the family court or superior court in the county where you or your spouse lives. Filing fees range from $75 to $435 depending on state. If you cannot afford the fee, ask the clerk about fee waiver forms.
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4
Serve your spouse
Your spouse must be formally notified of the divorce filing. This is called "service of process" and typically requires a process server, sheriff, or certified mail with return receipt. Your spouse then has a set number of days (usually 20 to 30) to respond.
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5
Your spouse files a response (or defaults)
If your spouse agrees and signs the petition, or does not respond at all (default), the process moves faster. If your spouse files a counter-petition or contests any terms, the contested process begins.
Phase 3: Reaching agreement (or going to court)
Financial disclosure. Both spouses must fully disclose all assets, income, debts, and expenses. Hiding assets is illegal and can result in the court setting aside any agreement.
Negotiate a settlement on all issues. Property division, custody and parenting plan, child support, spousal support. Most divorces — even contested ones — settle before trial.
Consider mediation. A neutral mediator helps both parties reach agreement on disputed issues. Significantly cheaper than litigation and often more durable than court-imposed arrangements.
Draft the marital settlement agreement (MSA). Once terms are agreed upon, they are formalized in a written agreement. Both attorneys (or parties) review and sign.
If no agreement is reached, prepare for trial. Trial dates are set months out. Both parties present evidence, witnesses, and arguments. The judge decides all unresolved issues.
Phase 4: Finalization and after
Final decree is issued by the judge. Once the settlement is approved (or trial concludes), the judge signs the final divorce decree. You are legally divorced as of that date.
Obtain certified copies of the decree. You will need certified copies to change your name, update accounts, file QDROs, and transfer property titles. Get at least three copies.
Update all financial accounts and beneficiaries. Bank accounts, investment accounts, retirement accounts, life insurance policies, and your will all need to be updated. This step is frequently overlooked and can have serious consequences.
File a QDRO if retirement accounts are being divided. A qualified domestic relations order is a separate court order required to transfer retirement funds without tax penalties. Do not skip this step.
Update your estate planning documents. Will, trust, power of attorney, and healthcare directive should all be revised after divorce.
If changing your name, file with Social Security, DMV, and your employer. The process begins with the Social Security Administration, then driver's license, then everything else.